Today we have a title for instalment two: 'Court of Contempt' will be joined by 'Court of Deception' shortly. It was a choice between that and 'Court of Protection', however the latter suggests that my book is actually a reference guide to the actual Court of Protection, and naive students/ law practitioners may buy it in their droves thinking they are getting the latest precedents and information on best practice and procedure (not to mention further 'Views from the President's Chamber'), and be bitterly disappointed with the actual content. They may then insist on refunds, which could seriously dent my royalty income. However, a prize (probably a hard hat) goes to the first legal practitioner who quotes a line from the book in the Court of Protection.
Also, there isn't much 'protecting' going on in the second book. Pretty much the opposite. A few things can be guaranteed, however. More heels stuck in drain covers and various other inconvenient places. Rugger matches where far too much excitement in the scrum causes spillages and knock-ons. Dennis and Davina will be entered into the Grand National, ridden by Daisy and Felix. Spot the Dog will know his way through Darya's Manolo collection. Oh, and there's sex. Lots of it. Far more than the first book. I let you in gently with the first one. Now you're just going to drown in it. Even I am having to rack my brains to think of new positions. I've decided that all characters shall henceforth be double or triple-jointed or made of rubber.
It's been an odd day here at McGhee Mansions too. Beautiful sunshine meant a yearning to procrastinate in my thriving spring garden. Clematis is shooting up the fence, and a really unusual perennial shrub that I picked up at the fabulous RHS Hampton Court show last year with red brush-like flowers emerging. I walked through a field with a dead pregnant sheep. 'Dead' in the literal sense unfortunately. And I nearly fell into a stream trying to prune a rampant buddleia. However, a visit from an old friend cheered up the household no end.
Good news re the sales rankings too. It appears my tome is growing a little fan base across the pond. For the last few nights there has been a little overnight surge in my standings. I could be wrong, but if Uncle Sam is reading about middle-class Hampshire, I want to take all the credit!
Back to the grindstone. Happy Friday readers. xx
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