Today is another action-packed writing day. I'm busy thinking up excuses for my poor grammar/ use of punctuation in the first and second books. The cat, flooding, boyfriend trouble, time of the month have all been considered and have been put in the mix. Any more valid excuses that can be provided will be gratefully received. The more pathetic and far-fetched, the better - applying the theory that 'it's so unbelievable it has to be true!'
You'll be delighted to know that I got absolutely soaked last night. This weather is appalling. Having said that, the background of grey seems to make the foliage and flowers seem even more vibrant. I managed to squeeze the dictation of my Amazon author's profile into my very action-packed, allocated procrastination/ faffing around time. It goes something like this:
Former lawyer, marathon runner, tennis player, dreamer. Current writer, Thea Gilmore devotee, champagne drinker, green-fingered gardener, procrastinator, toe-curler, curry and fish n' chips devourer, rugby aficionado, Russian history buff, thigh admirer, eyebrow and bikini-line waxer (ouch!). No longer dreaming it but being it!
I can: touch-type, run in high heels, gaze out of windows for an inordinately long time, wash delicate clothing, iron men's shirts, drink beer whilst simultaneously eating curry, drive long distances, shout at my partner, get my bits stung by a jellyfish whilst swimming in the sea, flirt my way out of a speeding ticket, distract myself and others, be exceedingly nosey, keep secrets, play table tennis like a human possessed.
I cannot: sit in an open-plan office without being distracted, touch my nose with my tongue, drink Guinness, do the splits, travel in standard class carriages, work with strange people, be depressed, pole-dance, clean out kitty litter, wash someone else's dirty underwear, have a tattoo, stand politicians/ ignorant people/ homophobia/ airport security frisking, dry hair within 30 minutes, be early for anything.
Ooh how clever. When you cut and paste it from source, it retains the original font setting. I must ask them how they do that when I want to plagiarise my own work!
So, the second cafe au lait has been consumed and it's onto the cucumber-infused water and MacBook Air. Thinking I might call her 'Deirdre' in future posts. Or Mabel… that's it! Mabel the Mac!
I'm going to have to build in more rugger into my allocated procrastination/ faffing around time today. I was wrong about yesterday's match. What a blinder Saracens played yesterday in their 46-6 trouncing! I couldn't believe my eyes when I watched it on Sky+. They were all over Clermont Auvergne like Edward IV over Margaret of Anjou. I have to say that Brad Barritt looked tres Ming the Merciless sporting a goatee beard in his official Heineken Cup image. And poor Aurelien Rougerie, the ubiquitous capitaine, looked so crestfallen at the end. I wonder if such a heavy defeat will have an impact on the business end of the domestic Top 14. Allez Montpellier!
Bit concerned about this Ukraine thing too. Putin may be showing his true colours now. Thought we'd sorted this whole imperialistic land-grabbing thing out during the last century. That, amongst other things, culminated in World War I. I'd like to see a vociferous, organised opposition in Russia. I cannot countenance this recent decline into homophobic legislation. And didn't Putin want Volgograd to revert back to Stalingrad? Or have I got that wrong? See above re my rugby predictions - it's possible folks!
The observations of that dizzy bird from Blackpool on Twitter did make me chuckle: 'If barroco barner is our president, why is he getting involved in Russia'. I note she later claimed in The Daily Mail (a publication I only read when I accidentally click on a link, scream, then direct my cursor quickly to the 'back' button, and reach for the smelling salts before any further distress is caused) that is was a big typo. Ah well, the wonders of modern technology!
Au revoir - a bientôt!!
p.s. This afternoon's fixture in Marseille? A hard-fought victory for Toulon. They seem to have their tails up at the moment and Jonny Wilkinson, the talismanic fly-half, has recovered from his thigh strain/ fractured eyelash to lead his Varois team out.
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